The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise."Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.

Around 3:00 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.Quickly, realizing my husband would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.(Even when totally smashed.....3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = midnight.)The next morning my husband asked my what time I got in and I told him "midnight." He didn't seem upset at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh shit", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."Why females should avoid girls night out after they are married

Oh, I got this in my email, This is so funny and true!


For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At one computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, e xecuting a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because almost none of the controls would operate the same way as in the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Here is a new free website for those of you looking for free pictures of pornstars, amateur couples having sex,interracial sex, blowjobs,muscle girls, and so on.
http://www.beaver-fest.com

WHy do some people feel the need to make comments but not leave any real contact information. Take Sixty4Fifty7 for example, made a comment, but no name and no email address. Sixty4Fifty7 should stop being scared of everyone.

Ok, I am going to have to rant for a minute, I am still on hold with Travelocity, but I did talk to them a few minutes ago.

It appears by the accents, that this is a company who has outsourced its customer service to, by the accent, India.

I am trying to change the flight reservation for Sarah Dunlap, so she gets here a day earlier, the only way to do it, if you got the tickets via Travelocity is to call them. So I call them, on hold for 15 minutes first time, get someone who can hardly speak english and who is obviously reading off a card, who after several minutes says I need to speak to someone else, I get that person, give them the reservation number, she tries to sell me something, I tell her I only want to change a flight, so she sends me to another person, take 15 minutes for this guy to answer, when he finally does, he cannot hear me, I hear him, I yell into the phone, and he is like, if someone is on the other end, I cant hear you, call back...click!!!!

ok so I am calling back, now I have been on hold for 20 minutes and no one has answered yet... This is the last time I use this company. Beware, if you use Travelocity and you need to make a change, you are going to have serious issues getting ahold of somoene who you can talk to smoothly and can answer your questions with out having to refer to a card. Thats if they answer the fucking phone!

Got some good news for you all, I now have shoots scheduled with Shari Yates and Sarah Dunlap. I am working out the details now, but so far I am going to try and redo the "Princess in waiting" shoot. She will be with my pure black horse, mostly nude, holding a large sword to her side and waiting on her warrior to return from battle .. how does that sound? If you have any ideas for shoots with these ladies let me know.

I just updated Tabitha's photo gallery also tonight, the new gallery has 87 photos, here are some pics from her new set. She is a little hottie you have to admit. You can CLICK HERE to get her new pics

Is it me or is it just damn hot outside now...Got up early this morning to go on a jog and it felt like it was 90 degrees out... at 8am!!

Here is a picture of me in a bikini I was asked to post...

Ariel and I both had a webcam show today, Ariel also has one tomorrow, thanks for all of you who showed up, it was fun...
I am scheduled to photograph Sarah Dunlap on July 6th, I am flying her down from Chicago, should be a really good photo shoot, I am also talking to some other fitness models and female bodybuilders about shooting them.

I dont know how many of you know her, but I know some of you do so I am going to post this. Porn Star Asia Carrera's husband died the other day in a car accident. If you want to read about it she has posted about it on her blog 
www.asiacarrera.com/bulletin.html

Only read it if you can handle some heart breaking posts from a young widow who is lost and confused.

I have to reschedule my cam show for tonight guys, sorry, I am not feeling well at all, I dont know if its soemthing I ate or what but I will make it up.

Oh I've been so horny. See me at my next show on Thursday and I may get some toys out.

My site was recently updated with a new hardcore video of some good old fashioned fucking.. here is a sample video clip from it
http://www.landofvenus.com/weeklypics/5-25-06.wmv
For those looking for the full video its here
http://members.landofvenus.com/members/asf/index2.html

Enjoy guys!!!
Venus
landofvenus.com

Sheesh! I finally fixed this darn blog. I couldn't post in here for Several days because of it. It's very hot this weekend, 112 Degrees here. I had a lesson outside this morning and had such a headach when I came in. I'll be posting a show for Thurday at 5pm PST (8pm EST).. Cum!