APRIL 2000

Friday April 28, 2000 - I passed all the tests for the class room and confined water part of the scuba diving, all I have to do now is the open water dives this weekend. I've been gone most of the evenings this week because of the scuba diving. Nemo is potty trained to go outside and go potty now. Bookie isn't and I am getting real short with him because of that. I've been training him for 4 months or so and he don't understand and I have done everything right. I got Nemo trained 2 months or more fast then bookie has learned... I have no idea what else to do on teaching him. I really do think he is from a slow retarded stock.. He's the sweeties thing and I guess I'll just have to keep trying until he catches on. I am in such a bad mood now. Fuck why can't life be simple and people quit making discussions last longer then they need to be. 

Tuesday April 25, 2000 - The door man came today and installed the new door.. I sleep all day because I didn't sleep worth shit last night and I felt like shit because I didn't take a shower after scuba diving class and feel asleep with that chlorine all over me. I really hate feeling tired like this. I don't ever get anything done.. I went down to the mattress store yesterday and bought a new king size mattress and a day bed so when my mom comes she can sleep on that. The mattress is so comfortable I don't know if I'll want to get up now.. The day bed is nice and should be really comfortable for her. I am not looking forward to class tonight but after this week I'll have my scuba stuff over with, so that is a nice thought. It's kinda boring because like all school you have to sit and listen in class. I really need to save more money but it seem like something always comes up and I never get to save as much as I'd like to. Like having to buy a new mattress because my X Cat pissed all over the last one and the smell is there to stay. Gizzy is getting really impatient with bookie because he isn't potty trained yet and Nemo just about is. I told him that Bookie is just slow and it's going to take more time with him.. Wonder if they have a LD doggie training routine, roflmao... Just kidding. I can't believe how fast this day went today. I hope everyone had a good Easter out there. Mine was very good. Oh, thanks girl pearl for those tanning lotions! They sure are gonna come in handy this summer. I'm going to put the self tanning one's on tomorrow. Oh yea, thank you tonetone for the down under picture of yourself.. I need to pass it on to Angie and Girl_Pearl.. Just love to get those kind of pics..

Saturday April 22, 2000 - I sold my cat Gizmo today. The lady who bought him was very nice and just loves animals. I believe she will take very good care of him. I'm keeping my other cat Tiggy.  I think Tiggy can handle the puppy's more then gizmo. Gizmo wouldn't eat very much at all and I had to do something. I think he'll be much happier without the puppy's chasing him. I posted some very fucked up photo's on my message board tonight. I'm going to have a good laugh.. I have a sick sense of humor but I get it from you guys.. Don't blame me, blame the sicko's out there. I just love a good laugh. I've been hunting joke site on the search engines tonight and have some great jokes now. I'll post one every once in awhile. I got my car cleaned after I picked it up from the dealer yesterday. I really haven't been doing much lately..

 

Friday April 21, 2000 - I hope someday I can quit feeling the guilt and pain of being so cold and heartless last year. I don't think I should have been as confused about my life like I was but I was. I have to live with not ever seeing my baby cat boo again. Don't you just hate being fucked up at some point and then fucking realizing that you really got a lot and never want to lose what you have? Shit! Taught me a big lesson. Taught me to be thank full.. I forgot about that somewhere along the way. Showed me why I need to be thank full for who I have in my life, what good friends I've had, thank full for what I have and thank full I crossed the paths and learned my lesson of people who are not worth one cent of my time. Money is something  you know. People will try to take everything from someone if they can. Greed is one thing that makes most people fall. I for one would rather have someone to love me and be my friend then to have all the money in the world. Money don't buy friendship. It'll just get you a whole lot of people who are wanting to be friendly with you. I don't blame movie stars and the rich to ignore most people. I guess I'm mad at myself because I wanted "another career, life?" and didn't realize until it was all most to late that I have everything a women could ask for.. I even have great members who have been around since the beginning.. If it don't bother me what I do on my website then I won't let any doubts rule my world.. Never again...

Thursday April 20, 2000 - I took my car down to the shop yesterday and am having the oil changed and the windows fixed. They are supposed to call me today and tell me when to pick it up. I did a kind of paint show last night and had finger paint all over me. I've been chatting a lot now since I have an audio program where I can talk to everyone and they can talk back to me (like on the phone but on the net).. It's a lot of fun.. Those puppy's make me have more cleaning then anything.. They get excited and forget to head for the door and go potty. Tomorrow the doggie door guy is suppose to install the new door. All I've been doing this week is cleaning the house, working on the computer, training my puppy's and reading over my scuba diving software. My mom is coming to visit me in two more weeks. I am very excited about that. I won't be doing any shows in that time but my camera's upstairs will be on and watching. I have all those sex feeds I buy and all those other girls are doing shows so it takes the pressure off me.. I need to go buy a swimsuit tomorrow so I will have one before my scuba class starts next week. I don't know what happened to mine.  

Monday April 17, 2000 - I ordered a doggie door on line this weekend and just today called a place that will replace my whole back door downstairs with a new door with a doggie door installed on it (Since my back door has a big panel of glass so you can't install a doggie door on it).. I am trying to cancel my doggie door I ordered online today. The guy is supposed to be here today in a bit to measure my door and get the information he needs. It will take him about 3 days and my door will be done. I cleaned up my house this morning and made a few phone calls. I made an appointment for Nemo to get his next series of vaccinations tomorrow and also get a microchip. He's not going to like that one bit. 

Friday April 14, 2000 - I had to go down to the Main Post office Yesterday and apply for a new passport. I can not find mine any where since we have moved into our new house. I need it to go on our vacation. So that is more unneeded expenses I must pay out. Nemo was looking for a spot in the kitchen to go potty this morning, I yelled out his name and he tucked back his little ears and ran to the stairs. I had to chuckle to myself. He knows to go outside now. I yelled for bookie and he came right along. Bookie started going down the stairs by himself on Wednesday. Nemo was brave enough to do it so I think bookie thought he would to. I need to get a doggie door now, I think they will start coming and going as they wish when they want to go outside to go potty. Ariel wrote me an email two days ago and sent me some picture of her and her hubby. The girl is looking great. I've been staying home mostly, trying to train the pups and working on the website. I am trying to decided what to do. I need to make a decision before they get to old. I am wanting to breed Bookie and Nemo when they get older but I don't have a female Frenchie and I don't know anyone who does. I have been wanting to get a female but they do cost a lot of money and I have two frenchies I just bought.. I think bookie would have some beautiful pups. If I don't get to breed then I want to neuter but what if I do get a chance to breed and I have them neutered. Shit! Decisions, decisions, decisions.. I'd like to have a puppy from Bookie one day. He's such a sweetie.

Tuesday April 11, 2000 -  I cleaned up after the pups first thing this morning. I think they are old enough to be left without accident in their training crate over night. As long as I don't feed them after 7pm.:) It seemed like I did a lot today but I look back and it don't seem like I really did anything at all. I took a bunch of picture of the pups tonight. Bookie sure has gotten bigger. I was looking at Jeff and my snorkeling and Scuba diving gear today. Just gets me more excited about going on vacation. Jeff had to buy his because he hadn't ever gotten any and he is just now taking the course. I am taking it with him as a refresher. Girl Pearl sent me this joke in E-mail today. I have read it about 3 time or so now and still laugh my ass off!

The Shit on SHIT...

1. GHOST SHIT - the kind of shit where you feel the shit come out, have shit
on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.
2. CLEAN SHIT - the kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but
there is nothing on the toilet paper.
3. WET SHIT - the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels
unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear so you don't ruin them with a brown stain.
4. SECOND WAVE SHIT - it happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled
your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to shit some more.
5. BRAIN HEMMORAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT or the POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD
SHIT - the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically
have a stroke.
6. RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT - the kind where you shit so much that you lose 30
pounds.
7. CORN SHIT - self-explanatory!
8. LINCOLN LOG SHIT - the kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to
flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet
brush.
9. DRINKER'S SHIT - this is the kind of shit that you've had the morning
after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread
marks left on the bottom of the toilet.
10. GEE - I WISH I COULD SHIT SHIT - it's the kind where you want to shit,
but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.
11. SPINAL TAP SHIT - that's the kind where it hurts so much coming out that
you swear it was leaving you sideways.
12. WET CHEEKS SHIT or the POWER DUMP - that's the kind that comes out of
your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
13. LIQUID SHIT - that's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of
your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time
chronically burning your tender anus.
14. BLOWOUT SHIT - preceded by a fart so dynamic that you check the bowl
afterwards for cracks.
15. MEXICAN FOOD SHIT - a class all its own.........

 

Monday April 10, 2000- I got this joke in E-mail today from Sue and I just had to post it. You know me I love this kind of humor!  We installed a new audio program Saturday night and it is awsome. I can talk to you as well as you can talk to me back.. 

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans.  She loved them but unfortunately they had a very embarrassing and
somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in
love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, ""He
is so sweet and a gentleman, he would never go for this carrying on." So she
made the supreme sacrifice, and in the end she gave up the beans. Some
months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the
country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because
she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of
the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk,
she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached
home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it,  she had consumed
three large order of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted and upon
arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband
seemed exited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a
surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her
chair at the table.  She seated herself and just as he was about to remove
the blindfold from  his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to
touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The
baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was
becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she
seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was
not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk
in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more,
which reminded her af cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation
in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the
phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more
times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her
husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she
peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and she was surprised!!! There were twelve dinner guest seated
around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday!!!"

 

Saturday April 08, 2000 - I forgot to put in here earlier this week that AVN Online Magazine is doing an aritcle about my website in their magazine and it will be in their next issue or the one after that.. I don't think I'm ever going to get these puppy's trained. I'm frustrated today. They do say that French bulldogs are slower learners then some of the other breeds. Besides that I feel like I'm a bitch from hell today. I've eaten to much so I'm not loosing weight, my dogs aren't potty trained so I've got to clean my kitchen this morning. Even though they go on the puppy training pads they sometimes miss the target. I WANT TO SCREAM! AHHHH! I am supposed to go over to Diana's for her show at 2pm today but there isn't enough time in the day to do things. I wish I could win the Mega Bucks and take a longer Vacation this year.:) I don't play it but once every 6 months, then I just spend 10 bucks. I don't think it's wise to spend a whole lot on playing those damn machines. I'M REALLY IN A BAD MOOD TODAY FOR SOME DAMN REASON! MAYBE SAYING, "SHIT FUCKING MOTHER OF FUCK, DAMN, FUCK, SHIT!" That didn't make me feel any better either. I have that whole kitchen to clean.. I HATE WASHING DISHES! I NEED SOME MAIDS! FUUUCCCKKK! I opened this diary back up to write something but I forgot what I was going to write now... It's getting Hot outside now! whew... Can I cry today.. I feel like I am just such a failure right now. Everything I've attempted to do I really don't stick with lately. Except my puppy's.. One word, Frustrated! I'm in this groove and I've been here for years. Anyone else ever to tired to get things accomplished? That's my downfall. I feel like I'm riding life on luck. I have motivation when I want it. It's like we all have to struggle and work for what we have to show for in life but then we all die so what is the use? Then on the other hand we want to die and have something to show for when we are gone and to be remembered for something because we don't just want to be living and die a nobody. I hope I'm not confusing. My husband tries to understand me but he don't either.. I love him though. I think most people don't like to think about that kind of stuff. 

Wednesday April 05, 2000 - Well I did it today. I booked our Vacation. I am worried about spending that kind of money but I always am. I am so excited, scuba diving with the Dolphins in the ocean is my kind of fun. We are going to the Turks & Caicos Islands. We were thinking of Grand Cayman but I found the Turks & Caicos more my style and not tourist ridden like the Cayman Islands. I found the perfect little Resort which is very romantic and they are small but treat you like kings.. The Scuba diving is yours all day off shore. Beside that I went to the store with Jeff today and rushed out of the house. To tell you how out of it I was.. I had on a orange button top with a pair of blue sweats. The top was on backwards and I didn't notice that till I was walking into the grocery store. My hair was wet and I hadn't even brushed it. I was laughing at myself in the store, I could imagine how ridiculous I looked. I had to take bookie to the Vet yesterday because he is a sick little guy. He's been throwing up and having diareaha. They gave him some different kind of medicine and also a shot to help him with his tummy upset. The Vet gave him some intestinal wormer in case they might have something that isn't showing up. Shit, I'm looking at my tape from a couple years ago.. My tits were sure... Flat.. yoww.. I decided to put my articles from the newspaper up yesterday. I feel like why even have them if I never show them to anyone, right....

Monday April 03, 2000 - I got this poem today in email and thought It was a very good depiction of how I feel about Male ego's and the way men think of women..

Prince

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,

self-assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating

ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow

near her castle.

 

The frog hopped into the Princess's lap and said: Elegant  Lady, I was once a

handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from

you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am

and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with

my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my

children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

 

That night, on a repast of lightly sautéed frogs legs seasoned in a white

wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought:

I don't fucking think so.

 

Saturday April 01, 2000 - I had a show with Charlie Thursday night and had a good time talking to all the old members that showed up for it, among other things. Haven't seen some of you all for quit a while. I went and saw the movie, "The Skulls" last night. Good movie... I've been talking to my mom over email and told her that I wanted her to teach me to cook when she comes down to visit me. She is gathering all her recipes. I haven't been eating all that good lately and I need to. It's not that I can't, I just don't want to.. I like junk food way to much. I started to do my video tape workout today and got through the first ten minutes of it then quit. I need something to get me motivated. I went to the pet store and got my puppy's a bed to sleep in. I put them in the kitchen about 2am every night after I take them out to potty just in case I don't wake up if they have to go a second time. They go on their puppy training pads. I am going to invest some money in stocks this year. I just have to do more reading on it.